Don’t Touch My Junk on Turkey Day

New TSA Policy
New TSA Policy

Woke up one morning this week to the radio talk-show buzz about the new Homeland Security airline pat downs, uhhhh, I mean screening system that was shaking America. Yes, I occasionally do listen to voices and music emanating from that magic box created a century ago and not just from the web, my iPod or Droid.

The talk was all about the guy who passed on experiencing the new full body x-ray screening.  When presented with the alternative of a full palm hand check that would include his private area, he promptly declined and told the agents not to “touch my junk!”

We are living in a ”World of Mouth” society in which a smart-phone, in this case an iPhone, can capture video with a touch of the screen and launch it immediately to immortality on YouTube where it has the potential to go viral.  Think Double Rainbow, Old Spice Guy and anything that has ‘Bieber‘ in the title. I am wondering if the TSA thought about this possibility when they enacted the alternative measure of groping, I mean pat downs.

Read John Tyner’s Blog and a full account of his experiences here.

Just this morning, I almost choked in laughter while enjoying  my 100% whole wheat bagel with strawberry cream cheese and Millstone Gingerbread Holiday Coffee while reading Washington Post Columnist, Charles Krauthammer’s column in the Cincinnati Enquirer entitled: “A New Hero’s Cry: Don’t Touch”(11/19/10).

Krauthammer humorously paints airline traveler John Tyner as today’s hero. He states:

“Don’t touch my junk is the anthem of the modern man, the tea party patriot, the late-life libertarian, the midterm election voter.”

He goes on to boldly state that the TSA is bowing to political correctness as they seek to keep our skies safe from terrorists and that we as a people are acquiescing to idiocy and a lemming-like  attitude in agreeing to be scanned, checked and barefoot because as Krauthammer states:

“…. the profile of the airline attacker is narrow, concrete, uniquely definable and universally known.”

Social Media Blog Mashable reports this morning that Geo-location app company Loopt is giving 10 iPod Touches away to anyone who opts in for the full body pat downs. No video required to win.  All one needs to do, is to check in on Loopt and add a statement about being patted down using the Twitter hash-tag: #touchedbyTSA. and send it off to Twitter on National Opt-out Day. Following the hash-tag stream is going to be a sight to see!

I remember 9/11 and the horror that lived with all of us for an eternity. What’s the right answer for safety in which we don’t single people out on the basis of racial profiling?  That is the debate that will take over the web. I for one, am glad that I will not be flying this holiday season.  I would not want to be a participant in either the full body scan or the pat downs- the whole thing just gives me the creeps.   It will be interesting to see how John Tyner’s story unfolds, but we can rest assured that it will all be captured on social media every step of the way.

Here is Krauthammer’s column conclusion:

“This time you have gone too far, Big Bro’. The Sleeping giant awakes. Take my shoes, remove my belt, waste my time and try my patience. But don’t touch my junk.”

So what do you think about this?



3 thoughts on “Don’t Touch My Junk on Turkey Day”

  1. I don’t think that treating every paying customer as a potential criminal suspect is the way the flight industry and government should be headed. I think more security personnel on flights, and threat detection methods that don’t involve racial profiling or full body inspections of every single passenger would be a better idea. I like what Loopt is doing with the iPod give away. I had to fly last year and it was the biggest pain in the a*s that I can recall, I don’t know what I would do if I had to deal with that on a regular basis. If no one says or does anything about it because they don’t want to make the air travel experience any more inconvenient than what it has already become then this is the kind of nonsense everyone will have to continue to deal with.

  2. Wardell,
    Great response; thanks for sharing your thoughts! I think over the river and through the woods is a better bet to get to grandma’s then flying this holiday season. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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